~* forever *~

alot of things to say...but i dunno where to start...hmmz..jus in case u think tat im feeling sad...im not..hahaha..jus tat there is alot of things on my mind..abt myself..abt others...abt situations...

RESULTS:

ya..results out...actually im usually veri excited when the results r out..i think im the onli one liddat ba..crazy?..ya..hahha..but its realli veri exciting i think...see whether u haf done well or not..or whether u haf performed up to expectations..hahaha..well..for me..i think not bad la..at least i got improve le! fm yr 1 onwards..my gpa score is declining like siao lo..onli this sem den FINALLY see the curve gg up..hahaha..so not bad la i think..i hope it will continue to be better!!! (even though im left wif onli 1 more sem!!!)

but well..other than all tat..the onli thing i dread most abt getting results is tat alot of pp will come n ask me hows my results...come to think of it..im also actually ok wif telling pp my results..jus tat i dun like it when they will ask.."how many As u got?" pls la..when pp yr after yr come ask me this..i realli feel like replying..."tats none of ur biz!"..ok..i think i snds bad..but can u feel my pekchek-ness? im talking abt EVERY sem lo...like...u realli need to noe my results so badly ma? for wat?! n this sem even better...someone asked me for my result for ONE of the modules, ASSUMED the rest of my results...n SPREADS it to my other fren...wat the lo..n when i clarified wif her..she STILL wan to noe my results even though she wanna slp le...URGH!! wat is this lo...so impt to noe my results meh...den after knowing all my results..she tell me she go back to slp le....n its onli until today den i realised...she not onli assumed my results...she also assumed the no. of modules tat i took last sem! aiyah...watever la...i think i shldnt waste my energy on pp like tat...not worth it....URGH!

ME:

i set a higher expectation for myself than for others...i think i stand firm with wat i realli think is correct...it doesnt realli matter to me tat other pp thinks tat im wrong...everyone is diff so we shldnt judge others fm our own perspectives..

to me...trust is exceptionally important...if i trust that u will do/not do certain things(obviously is for serious stuffs and not crappy stuffs..) but u break it...its realli quite hard for me to trust tat person back for the same matter...tats is y i keep telling myself tat i shldnt expect too much fm others..dun depend on others...but well...many times..situations will make me forget abt all these...probably i thot they r pp whose words i can realli trust...n when it didnt go the way tat i expect...undeniably..i will feel abit disappointed...n because i seriously hated the feeling of disappointments..i wont wan to experience it again..so the more i will keep telling myself tat i shldnt trust those pp anymore..but of cos..these r case by case basis..as in..i wont becos i dun trust u on this matter then u r no longer my fren..get wat i mean? as long as u r willing to be my fren i will be urs too...after all...my greatest disappointment so far happened around a yr ago (i think...)...i dun think anything else can be worse than tat......

sometimes i think/feel tat im leading a tiring life..as in..i rely on myself too much..not tat i cant handle it...in fact i think i handled it quite well...jus tat...i would think...y izzit that there are no one hu i can realli trust n rely on? as in...they can prove tat they r more capable in letting me rely on them wif no worries kind..hmmz..maybe i think too much..hahahha...but its ok...or i haf already seen enough of them? to the pt tat...i think no one is able to do it? i dunno...

anyway...this yr is gg to end soon! i hope in the coming new yr...everything will goes well!!! i jus thot of my new yr's resolution! for my 1st half of the yr..i wanna aim for 3As for my last 3 modules in ntu!! and also maybe a A- for fyp? hahaha...this will realli end my uni life in a super gd way!! den for the 2nd half of the yr..i hope to find a job in a well-established company wif many gd colleages!! n of cos..wif a gd pay!! n of cos..i hope everyone whom i cared for will be filled wif happiness whole yr round!!!! =)

WORDS

一望即逝的烟火
象征着我们
我喜欢的是青色还是红色
你有在乎吗？

因为有依赖
所以最伤心
听说你也难过
但你不曾挽留

你认为
叫我把棉被盖好
就是一种安慰
但你曾想过
你说完掉头就走
却是更残忍的伤害

相信我
忘记也许更容易
其实并没有讨厌
不能怪你的无助
你知道吗？

希望以后再遇见
我们只是陌生人

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

曾经以为
一切都不会改变
怎么说散就散
一点预兆都不给

是因为他吗
还是我没搞清楚
你怎会说走就走
连一句话也没留

是我太慢太傻
还是有些事根本不必说
是无所不谈吗
怎么会差了你我

是你太傻太慢
还是根本没想过
所以就算无所不谈
还是缺了你我

如果有一天
你突然想起我
请记得
我曾经给过你微笑